A simple test to let you know if you are Irish or not
You know you're Irish if...
~ The person that you insult most is probably your best friend
~ During your youth much of your food was boiled
~ You're strangely poetic after a few beers
~ You don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing
~ You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking
~ You have no idea how to make a long story short
~ Tea is the solution to every problem
~ And holy water is the solution to every injury
~ Saying 'I will yea' means that you definitely won't
~ 'For the craic' is the best reason for doing anything
~ Nobody can go a day without saying 'Jaysus'
~ You have a gift for swearing
~ You can insert the name of a gardening tool into any sentence and it still makes sense, e.g. 'I had a rake of drink last night' or "I'll be out in a minute, I'm just shoveling down the dinner'
~ It's perfectly acceptable to call your mother 'mammy' even though you are a fully grown adult
~ Saying 'Now we're sucking diesel' means that you are happy with the outcome of the situation
~ Drinking 'tae' is everyone's favourite past time
~ You're scared of the wooden spoon
~ The word 'like' goes in every sentence
~ You can say "Any craic' to a policeman and you won't get arrested